Iranian Supreme Leader Certifies Election Results: "Allah Voted 50 million times."

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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!

Iranian Supreme Leader Certifies Election Results:  "Allah Voted 50 million times."

Tehran, Iran (BNSE): Iran's Supreme Leader, Ali Hoseyni Khāmene, addressed thousands of protesters today and deemed Iran's hotly contested Presidential Election valid. Khāmene stated an official government investigation of the disputed election results determined that, "Allah voted roughly 40 to 50 million times."

In and except from the speech, "Election officials were unanimous in their surprise.  Some districts only had one of two hundred people vote, yet when they opened the boxes to count the votes, it was filled with literally thousands of votes,  all for our reelected President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  After fasting and prayer, all members of the Ruling Council determined these events are a clear miracle.  Further counting of the votes is banned since it would risk our nation incurring the wrath of God."

BNSE contacted a United States Federal Election Official, who wished to remain unidentified, for his opinion on the Iranian election.  The official paused for several moments, and then said, "Sure... It can happen...  Do they use electronic voting, too?"

Developing...

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