Independence Day Cancelled for Michael Jackson Funeral Pay Per View.

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Independence Day Cancelled for Michael Jackson Funeral Pay Per View.

 

 

 

 

 


Los Angeles, CA (BNSE):  Legions of fans disappointed they would be unable to attend pop icon, Michael Jackson's, funeral this weekend due to space restrictions received an unexpected surprise as the Jackson family announced the late singers funeral would appear live on Pay Per View television.  Led by California, state and local governments across the nation began cancelling Independence Day celebrations so the multitudes could view the event.  In the face of massive public pressure, the White House officials cancelled the holiday late Friday afternoon, renaming July 4th, "Thriller Day 2009."

 

President Obama brushed aside criticisms of the decision, "Independence Day is a lot like Christmas.  Lots of people think July 4th is about a bunch of people running around in 18th Century clothes and wearing white wigs.  But it is much, much more than that.  And, I challenge anyone to find anyone who represents the ideals of American independence, or even Christmas, for that matter, than Michael Jackson."

 

Senate Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell (R-KY), said, "I was against the idea at first, largely because President Obama came up with the idea.  However, when I realized how many cable companies donate to the Republican Party, and just how much money they will make off this event...  Well, I just couldn't say no."

 

Other Congressional leaders also voiced their support to the move.  House Republican Leader, John Boehner (R-OH), told BNSE by phone, "I normally drop at least a couple hundred bucks for a July 4th party at my house.  But, in these tough economic times, a $39.95 pay per view event is quite a cost savings.  I'm normally a patriotic guy...  But at these prices!!!."  And, California Senator, Dianne Feinstein, said from the floor of the Senate, "I hope I get to see Webster!."

 

Dedicated Michael Jackson fans were sympathetic to those who lost their holiday.  Burt Higgens, a Jackson fan since the early 1980's, said, "I can understand how they feel.  I've suffered a loss, too.  I'm not saying the Ben Franklin isn't important to America, I mean he invented the light bulb, but we can celebrate his birthday anytime.  But, Michael Jackson might not die again for years."

 

Jackson insiders say, Michael is expected to remain dead throughout the ceremony.  The highlight of the ceremony will be a no hold barred cage fight between the members of the Jackson family and his close friends and associates for what is left of the singer's assets.

 

 

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