Al Gore Complains Supporters Making Him Look Stupid.

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Al Gore Complains Supporters Making Him Look Stupid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nashville, TN  (BNSE):  Former Vice President, Al Gore, spoke out to BNSE this week bemoaning the negative influence some environmentalist supporters of his global warming initiative are having on general public opinion.


"Damn, they're still out there," Gore whispered as he peeked through the curtains of his office in his Nashville residence.  "Last week they were using Band-Aides to reattach grass blades after we mowed the lawn, and now this week six of them passed out in the driveway because they were trying to lower CO2 emissions by holding their breath.  And then...  And then, there is always that screaming.  Dear God, no wonder they have all this free time, they can never get a date.  Some guy takes one of them to the Red Lobster, and next thing you know, she's hollering like a banshee because someone cut chives to put on on her baked potato."


Gore walked onto his front porch just in time to wave at a black limousine slowing down in front of the residence and then speeding away.  "Sh*t!  That was Stephen Hawking.  Tipper!  Call Stephen and ask him to come back.  We can let him in the back door...  Yes, I know how to send a text message, I INVENTED the Internet, you know.  I'm just a little busy right now.  You see that, even my wife thinks I'm an idiot because of them."


Gore raised his hands in exasperation and shouted at his supporters, "Go take a bath and shave your legs you morons!  I'm trying to craft an international plan to limit global carbon emissions and your making me look like an ass!"


Back in his office, Gore confided, "You know, I won a Nobel Prize and an Oscar.  I was pretty much President of the United States, and am respected in the halls of Congress and the UN.  But, ask the average person on the street about me and they picture Captain Dread-lock out there.  It's driving me nuts.  I know this is why Pelosi didn't have me come to Washington for the Cap and Trade vote.  She was afraid she'd have 200 naked environmentalists laying on the Capitol steps."


One of Gore's supporters who identified herself only as "Living Flower," said, "Trees and plants do not have ears, so we have to scream really, really loud so they can hear us.  And, since all good things come from Mother Earth, it must be a sin to wash her dirt and other filth away.  We are here to support Lord Gore in his efforts to make everyone live like we do now."

 

 

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