ACORN Releases "Housing Seminars Gone Wild" Promo Video!
ACORN Releases "Housing Seminars Gone Wild" Promo Video!
New Orleans, LA (BNSE): In an effort to regain public support for its organization and work in the community, the Association of Communities Operations for Reform Now (ACORN), announced a series of public relations initiatives for the second half of 2009. The programs will seek to highlight ACORN's work in economically challenged areas, and dismiss many of the allegations of corruption that have come to plague the organization.
A cornerstone of the new public relations campaign will be the release of a new promotional video,
"Housing Seminars Gone Wild." Jay "Money" Withers, a spokesman for ARORN, said, "This new video will show both our supporters and critics what ACORN is all about. It will dispel myths, break down barriers, and most importantly, get valuable information out to this country's most vulnerable citizens. This video will not only train, enlighten, and motivate people who never heard of ACORN before; but entertain them as well. It will be the complete package. Excitement, fun, real world information and advice, and actual time tested methods and tools that thousands of people, just like you, have used to make the system work for them."
According to the spokesman, the new video will be different. "All I can say is many similar videos offer to show you pictures of young co-eds taking their shirts off... Well, here at ACORN, most of our girls have trouble keeping their pants ON. You know what I'm talking about," clarified the spokesman.
In promotional materials accompanying the official release of the DVD, "Housing Seminars Gone Wild" offers a wide variety of practical information for people to attain government assistance for a variety of housing and business options.
Some of these include:
1. How to Fund Your Crack House Though Section 8 Housing Symposium.
2. Why Using Your Children's Social Security Numbers is Better Then Bankruptcy Round Table Discussion.
3. Let the Rich Boy Pay for It Meet and Great. This award winning seminar, which highlights the finer points of identity theft, "Is worth the $29.99 price for the DVD by itself," claimed Withers. Identity theft experts explain how they "redistribute" the identification of those with good credit to those who want to live in upscale communities, yet are not interested in dealing with the "red tape" associated with the higher costs and standards associated with such areas.
The session also contains a valuable bonus pack called, "Not getting arrested for pulling this sh*t." This section explains at length how to purchase a mortgage with stolen identification, then renting the property to yourself from the identify theft victim. "If you get caught, you just blame the identity theft on someone else. Explain to the authorities that you don't know who your landlord is, and it's not your fault he stole some-one's ID. Just give the cops some fake address and they'll be off chasing 'the real criminals,' and you will be an automatic victim! With any luck, you will get to live for free in a nice house in a good community for at least a year. By the time the lawyers get around to actually collecting rent from you, the place will probably be all messed up, and you will want to leave anyway. It's a real win, win," said event organizers.
4. "Keepin' Your Whores Quiet" Slide Show Presention. An interactive guide to psychological conditioning techniques pioneered by the CIA and Department of Homeland Security.
5. "How to Trade Food Stamps to Buy Almost Anything" Catalogue.
And, 6. "This is MY Playground: Billy's Beginner's Guide to Gang Violence Coloring Book."
In late developments, massive public outrage at the sexual nature of ACORN's DVD release, and unapologetic advocacy of blatantly illegal activity, has led to ACORN National Headquarters to disavow this video release. In a prepared statement, ACORN blamed the multimillion dollar production budget, and highly coordinated 50 state advertising campaign for the sale of the video, on, "A few bad apples."
Disclaimer: Any similarity between The Association of Communities Operations for Reform Now in this article has nothing to do with the better known Association of Communities Organizations for Reform Now. Any similarities between the two is purely coincidental. They have nothing to do with each other. Not a thingy-dingy.
A cornerstone of the new public relations campaign will be the release of a new promotional video,
"Housing Seminars Gone Wild." Jay "Money" Withers, a spokesman for ARORN, said, "This new video will show both our supporters and critics what ACORN is all about. It will dispel myths, break down barriers, and most importantly, get valuable information out to this country's most vulnerable citizens. This video will not only train, enlighten, and motivate people who never heard of ACORN before; but entertain them as well. It will be the complete package. Excitement, fun, real world information and advice, and actual time tested methods and tools that thousands of people, just like you, have used to make the system work for them."
According to the spokesman, the new video will be different. "All I can say is many similar videos offer to show you pictures of young co-eds taking their shirts off... Well, here at ACORN, most of our girls have trouble keeping their pants ON. You know what I'm talking about," clarified the spokesman.
In promotional materials accompanying the official release of the DVD, "Housing Seminars Gone Wild" offers a wide variety of practical information for people to attain government assistance for a variety of housing and business options.
Some of these include:
1. How to Fund Your Crack House Though Section 8 Housing Symposium.
2. Why Using Your Children's Social Security Numbers is Better Then Bankruptcy Round Table Discussion.
3. Let the Rich Boy Pay for It Meet and Great. This award winning seminar, which highlights the finer points of identity theft, "Is worth the $29.99 price for the DVD by itself," claimed Withers. Identity theft experts explain how they "redistribute" the identification of those with good credit to those who want to live in upscale communities, yet are not interested in dealing with the "red tape" associated with the higher costs and standards associated with such areas.
The session also contains a valuable bonus pack called, "Not getting arrested for pulling this sh*t." This section explains at length how to purchase a mortgage with stolen identification, then renting the property to yourself from the identify theft victim. "If you get caught, you just blame the identity theft on someone else. Explain to the authorities that you don't know who your landlord is, and it's not your fault he stole some-one's ID. Just give the cops some fake address and they'll be off chasing 'the real criminals,' and you will be an automatic victim! With any luck, you will get to live for free in a nice house in a good community for at least a year. By the time the lawyers get around to actually collecting rent from you, the place will probably be all messed up, and you will want to leave anyway. It's a real win, win," said event organizers.
4. "Keepin' Your Whores Quiet" Slide Show Presention. An interactive guide to psychological conditioning techniques pioneered by the CIA and Department of Homeland Security.
5. "How to Trade Food Stamps to Buy Almost Anything" Catalogue.
And, 6. "This is MY Playground: Billy's Beginner's Guide to Gang Violence Coloring Book."
In late developments, massive public outrage at the sexual nature of ACORN's DVD release, and unapologetic advocacy of blatantly illegal activity, has led to ACORN National Headquarters to disavow this video release. In a prepared statement, ACORN blamed the multimillion dollar production budget, and highly coordinated 50 state advertising campaign for the sale of the video, on, "A few bad apples."
Disclaimer: Any similarity between The Association of Communities Operations for Reform Now in this article has nothing to do with the better known Association of Communities Organizations for Reform Now. Any similarities between the two is purely coincidental. They have nothing to do with each other. Not a thingy-dingy.
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