Nation Breathes Sigh of Relief. Abducted Child Actually Some Black Kid.
Nation Breathes Sigh of Relief.
Abducted Child Actually Some Black Kid.
Tallahassee, FL (BNSE): Americans and Florida State Law Enforcement officials breathed a sigh of relief today as investigators determined that a four year old abducted toddler, Teri Jenkins, was of African-American decent, not Caucasian, as originally reported.
A high ranking Florida law enforcement official apologized to the news media at an afternoon news conference for the confusion which originated from a misunderstanding in the pronunciation of the child's name. "Unfortunately, a 911 operator interpreted the name 'Teri Jenkins' as being a white name," explained the official. "If the child's name was 'Tamika Washington,' or 'Saquella Jefferson,' or even 'Tania Green,' we feel confident the operator would have understood the race of the child and ignored it appropriately."
Major new outlets expressed outrage at the official's statement. "We are finding this hard to understand. Just how could Florida investigators allowed this to happen? We go and interrupt our live broadcasts with emergency Amber Alerts, completely dedicate multiple hours of prime time programing to cover the case, and what do we get? A picture of some black kid? Where's the cute little white girl and her trashy parents? Where are the home videos of some upper middle class, slutty looking, blond teenager running around in a sexy little field hockey skirt? Law enforcement should really be ashamed of themselves. Their sloppy work has cost us a lot of money," said one news director.
In a joint statement, serveral cable new outlets announced plans to strip Teri Jenkins of the honorary title "Little." The toddler will now be reffered in news converage as "Troubled Teri Jenkins," or "Runaway Teri." Additionally, heartfelt interviews with the toddler's mother will be edited and made part of a five part series, "Former Alleged Crack Whores Make Bad Parents Special Report," airing next month.
In late developments, Florida State and Federal authorities stated the multi-state, highly coordinated search for Teri has been cancelled. Officials assured BNSE they felt confident, "The kid will eventually turn up somewhere."
A high ranking Florida law enforcement official apologized to the news media at an afternoon news conference for the confusion which originated from a misunderstanding in the pronunciation of the child's name. "Unfortunately, a 911 operator interpreted the name 'Teri Jenkins' as being a white name," explained the official. "If the child's name was 'Tamika Washington,' or 'Saquella Jefferson,' or even 'Tania Green,' we feel confident the operator would have understood the race of the child and ignored it appropriately."
Major new outlets expressed outrage at the official's statement. "We are finding this hard to understand. Just how could Florida investigators allowed this to happen? We go and interrupt our live broadcasts with emergency Amber Alerts, completely dedicate multiple hours of prime time programing to cover the case, and what do we get? A picture of some black kid? Where's the cute little white girl and her trashy parents? Where are the home videos of some upper middle class, slutty looking, blond teenager running around in a sexy little field hockey skirt? Law enforcement should really be ashamed of themselves. Their sloppy work has cost us a lot of money," said one news director.
In a joint statement, serveral cable new outlets announced plans to strip Teri Jenkins of the honorary title "Little." The toddler will now be reffered in news converage as "Troubled Teri Jenkins," or "Runaway Teri." Additionally, heartfelt interviews with the toddler's mother will be edited and made part of a five part series, "Former Alleged Crack Whores Make Bad Parents Special Report," airing next month.
In late developments, Florida State and Federal authorities stated the multi-state, highly coordinated search for Teri has been cancelled. Officials assured BNSE they felt confident, "The kid will eventually turn up somewhere."
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